Life Advice

I'm 17 and my only goal is to be a housewife. What should I do to prepare myself?

Molly Love, Realtor (2014-present)

Updated Fri

All I ever wanted in life was to be a house wife! I wanted to marry wealthy, stay home with my babies, and create the most awesome home for my family.

I took every home economics class my school system had available, starting in middle school. Clothing to learn how to sew, economics to learn a budget, and extensive cooking classes, all the way into the culinary arts program our Career and Technology center offered to the county. I learned how to bake pastries so I could make the best birthday cakes for my future kids. I did it all!

In college, I took all the social classes. 2 rounds of psychology and sociology, cultural anthropology to learn how other cultures raised their kids. I mean, I did everything I could to learn how to have the healthiest home and kids.

I worked some admin jobs during and after college to keep myself busy until I met my future husband. I knew it was only a matter of time!

As it turns out, I did not marry wealthy! And it didn’t matter, love is love regardless of income. But we both had to work. My family has a prominent real estate business, so until it was time to decide to marry and procreate, I figured I might as well work with that, sell some houses, and save some money for the future. Within a year, I was pregnant, and we had some serious decisions to make. This was NOT how I imagined it would go. We were not wealthy, I was about 5 years younger than I really wanted to be when I was becoming a parent, so things REALLY were not going according to plan.

My husband was working at a winery, and here I was beginning a real estate career. I had been so firm in deciding I wasn’t ready to start a family, I poured my heart and soul into this career I never planned on starting. Nothing was going the way I wanted it to.

But I worked my pregnant ass off until it was time to have the baby. I stayed home with her for 4 straight months, then very slowly starting taking appointments again and getting back into the swing of things. I can’t trust anyone, so thinking of daycare options always gave me a panic attack, and I was at such a conflict because all I ever wanted was to be a stay at home mom. But I had a skill, a gift of helping people buy houses, and it paid a hell of a lot more than my husband’s job.

So he quit, and has been a stay at home dad for the last 2 years. Our daughter just turned 3. I structure my days as best as I can, but I work long tiring hours, and honestly he’s so good at being a Daddy. They walk to the park every single day, he chases her around and they are BEST. FRIENDS. He can honestly keep up with her better than I can, so they’re the best play dates during the day, and I’m amazingly good at meal preparations, night time snuggles, stories, and all the best Mom jobs.

Long story short, you can prepare all you want for your dream of being a housewife, but it doesn’t always pan out. Always have a back up plan. Like others have said here too, it’s important for you to be educated both for yourself if your plans don’t work out, as well as for your family if things do work in your favor.

Enrich your life as much as you can, because you can never be too educated to be a stay at home wife or mother, but you can always be under-educated and under-prepared if you need a backup plan.

You’ve got so much time ahead of you! Just take your time, plan for the best, and enjoy the journey - wherever it takes you :-)

EDIT: some clarifications -

1. I am 28, the asker is 17. I was 25 when I conceived, 4 years after I finished college.
2. My husband and I had been together for over 2 years when I got pregnant. I was only in my first year of real estate, though. Family planning is very important. I had been on birth control for 10 years, but my prescription had lapsed for a week, and even though we were careful, we just weren’t careful enough. I am a firm believer though that our life is exactly the way it’s supposed to be, and I love my daughter more than life itself. While I wish we were more prepared financially when she was born, she has immeasurably improved our life!
3. Since writing this, my husband has actually started working a sunrise shift and my schedule shifted with his, so now I have earlier and longer mornings at home!!! We wake up, have breakfast, play some fun games, and do some light school work together. I have so much more time at home, and it’s been absolutely wonderful.
4. I have enormous respect for stay at home parents, and it was not my intention at all to tell the person who asked this question that they should not be a housewife, but simply to be prepared if life brings her through a different path. We can never be certain where we will end up, and have to be able to adapt to the situations we have at hand.
5. Finally, thank you to everyone for reading this! It means the world to me that so many people read my story. There were so many sweet comments, I had a lot of fun reading what I could get to. Also many other great stories of other people’s journey as a stay at home parent, or working spouse. This website is amazing for connecting the world thus way. I hope everyone is able to live their best life, whatever that means to them :-)